


I'm Down

by panicparade



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Young Veins
Genre: Alcohol, Community: trope_bingo, Forbidden Fruit, M/M, Pre sober!Gerard days, Tour!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-29
Updated: 2013-10-29
Packaged: 2017-12-30 06:32:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1015313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panicparade/pseuds/panicparade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been one of the rare days when Gerard hadn’t felt the need to reach for something to make the tension leave, though he could still feel the itch and he had been hanging around the venue, taking in the sights and sounds when he’d seen the boy, sitting alone on a bench wearing trademark skinny jeans  and white sunglasses, staring at nothing, his face tilted towards the sun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Down

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Forbidden Fruit square on my [Trope_Bingo Round 2 Card](http://panicparade.dreamwidth.org/1616.html)  
> TITLE IS A SONG BY RYAN ROSS!!! Check it Out - [I'm Down](https://soundcloud.com/officialryanross/im-down)  
> Un- betaed, any mistakes pointed out nicely would be appreciated :)  
> I have played with timelines. Alot. And I had a lot of fun doing it. Also, I know they never toured together, but guess what - it's fiction! :D

**_I’m up looking for you now._ **

-        **_Ryan Ross_**

 

Gerard watched him walk across the parking lot, carrying a bag and laughing with his friend, the one he was always with.

“Ready to go, Gee?”, he heard Mikey ask, nodding vaguely while still keeping his eye son the boy climbing into the bus. It was only when he was back in his bunk dreaming that he’d realized that right before he had climbed up the stairs, the boy had turned and smiled at him. As Gerard got up and ticked off another day, getting closer to his 6 months sober mark on the calendar, he thought to himself _, not much longer_. He fell asleep with a smile on his face.

***

Gerard had first noticed Ryan Ross when they had joined My Chemical Romance on their first tour; back when Gerard was still fucked up and intent on wasting himself away because the constant pressure was too much. It had been one of the rare days when Gerard hadn’t felt the need to reach for something to make the tension leave, though he could still feel the itch and he had been hanging around the venue, taking in the sights and sounds when he’d seen the boy, sitting alone on a bench wearing trademark skinny jeans ( _How did kids get into them?)_ and white sunglasses, staring at nothing, his face tilted towards the sun. Gerard was never one to initiate conversation but that day he’d felt like it and he’d gone and claimed a seat on the bench.

“Nice weather, right?” It was the worst start to a conversation ever and yet it worked. They had talked for hours, about the weather and the tour and music. Gerard had watched as Ryan had grown from a stuttering fan boy to a surprisingly shy guy to someone who could talk to Gerard without getting bored and also manage to hold his own in a discussion.

Looking back, Gerard realized there really had been no chance of escape after that.

***

They’d spent the entire week meeting up and talking between stops; Gerard would still get drunk every evening but he could see himself wanting it less each time. Maybe he would have stopped completely had Pete Wentz not dropped by to meet Mikey. Two weeks after they had started hanging out Gerard had returned to the bus to find Pete sitting at the table with a pissed off Mikey sitting next to him.

“Hey Pete! Good to see you here man, Mikey was driving us all nuts with his whining.” Gerard joked, grabbing a beer from the cooler and taking a seat at the table. He raised an eyebrow when Mikey slid over next to him. Gerard hadn’t missed the way Pete had stared a little too long at his beer. And then Pete had said the words that had caused a feeling much like dread and apprehension start pooling in his stomach.

“We need to talk about Ryan.”

And they had talked for hours. It was more like Pete was talking and all Gerard could do was listen as questions he had wanted to ask Ryan got answered. Like _why he never talked about his dad?_ Like _why the one time they had met while Gerard might have had a few beers, Ryan had paled and left? Why Ryan didn’t drink, even though Gerard knew his band mates did?  Why when sometimes Gerard got too excited while talking, Ryan would flinch if a hand got too close? Why he didn’t like it when people came up from behind._

At the end of it when Gerard had felt drained and strangely guilty, he had reached the decision himself. Pete hadn’t had to say anything. In a way he was glad that there were people like Pete looking out for Ryan. The next day Gerard had told Ryan they couldn’t hang out anymore and though he hadn’t told him why, he was sure Ryan understood. Ryan had hugged him and whispered in his ear, “I’ll be waiting on the bench.”

***

It had been hard, seeing Ryan on tour and events but having to keep his distance. Ryan was like something he had forbidden himself from touching and he wanted him all the more because of that. Seeing him talking to others, laughing, running his hand through his hair when he was nervous was all torture, but each time Gerard felt his resolve weaken, Ryan would look up at him and smile, ignoring everyone else around him and Gerard could go back to counting down the days with a smile.

Then were the long days on tour, where he couldn’t know how Ryan was and calling him was just tempting himself and he was _this_ close to tearing the fuckin calendar off the wall; and he’d come back from the show to find a letter addressed to him on his pillow.  The letter would have just one piece of paper and on it would be the words that would strengthen his resolve and take all the stress away.

 

It was difficult and tiring and there were days when Gerard had wanted to snap and chuck it all, but then he’d think of the person waiting for him at the end, his own forbidden fruit. And he’d go back to ticking days off the calendar.

***

Gerard walked swiftly, crushing leaves beneath his foot and enjoying the crunching sound. He was already fifteen minutes late, courtesy of Frank and all he could think about was how maybe he was fifteen minutes _too_ late.

But as soon as he turned from the path and faced the lake, he could see the bench and he could see the person sitting on the bench. Head tipped towards the sun, skinny jeans and white sunglasses in place. He slowed down to a stroll, taking in his fill of what he’d only been able to see and not even thinking about touching for so long. He knew Ryan could tell he was there, especially when he stepped in front of him and blocked his sun, but before Ryan could protest Gerard gently removed his sunglasses and placed them to the side. One hand curved around Ryan’s neck, he moved his other hand to hold Ryan’s hand in his. He looked into those brown eyes that had made it all worth it and leaned forward to finally get a taste of what he’d been craving.

 

  

 

 

 

 


End file.
